LOVE YOURSELF

Relationships are how we relate to others. We have a relationship with everyone that we know and who is close to us. This is not reserved for our family or someone who we are involved with. Every interaction we have with another is the act of relating.

If we have a problem relating to others, this affects our ability to have supportive relationships. We have to ask ourselves if our relationships are supportive and if they are not, then ask ourselves why they are not. Everyone wants the perfect romance or marriage, but not everyone looks at the mechanics of how to have one. If we fail to have supportive relationships in our life, how can we have the perfect relationship?

Lets look at what is a supportive relationship. The word support is very important. It means that our interaction supports another. This means more than supporting another in their decisions or actions, rather through the act of supporting, we honour and validate who the other person is. In turn, this validates who we are. Both are supported, no one loses, no ego’s involved, and in so doing, we honour the relationship. This is what it means to have a supportive relationship. This is the desired goal. Now, how do we accomplish it?

There are several reasons why we may have problems relating to others. One primary reason is our behavioural patterns. These patterns are developed over a course of our lives. It starts when we are children, through to our adolescence, and by the time we are adults, we have established our behavioural patterns for our relationships. We can have both positive and negative behavioural patterns.

What causes negative behavioural patterns? If we look at a person’s life, we can readily see which is negative or positive behaviour. But we may not easily see the cause of the negative.

The cause usually resides in the past in which a trauma or an event occurred that effects how we behave in the future. If that event occurs again, or if something happens currently to cause us to experience that trauma again, that is when we respond to it. Situations can act as triggers, which may cause us to react to the person that is involved in the situation. This causes a negative behavioural pattern. Until we can identify the problem, we are powerless to do anything about it.

Whatever the situation was to trigger a reactionary response, the cause must be discovered in order to heal the original fracture. In Shamanism terms this is called a Soul Fracture. A fracture of the Self. Each self is part of the whole which comprises the soul. Soul Fractures occur for a variety of reasons and may or may not relate to this current lifetime. Traumas have occurred in past lifetimes that may or may not have been addressed. The Soul holds the body of these life experiences. Furthermore, the life process itself can be very painful for some. Past experiences that have dishonoured, or invalidated who we are, cause us to close ourselves off even more. These experiences build up over a matter of time and unless a clearing occurs, emotional or physical problems may develop.

If a problem has been identified, what can we do about it? One can try to clear it themselves, or one can go to a practioner who is adept at doing clearings. In order to clear, one must identify the original cause that created a behavioural pattern. Then, move through the experience of that situation, and experience the emotions that we have associated with it. Then, we must have closure or completion. This means completing it anyway that we are able. As long as, we feel that we have a sense of completion for the experience.

So, after we have identified the cause and received closure or completion, then we let it go. This does not mean to forgive or forget, that is not what it is to release. The act of releasing is our readiness to heal. Only after the experience has cleared can healing occur.

The healing process is a time when we must be very loving to ourselves. If we beat up ourselves about the experience that had caused us harm or our past reaction to it, then we cannot heal. In being loving to ourselves, we validate what we had experienced at that time and our emotions for it. Our emotions are always valid. So it’s important for us to do this self validation in order to heal.

Love is the energy that helps us to heal, whether we give this love to ourselves, or we receive it from another. When we look at having supportive, loving relationships in our life, why not start with ourselves? Because that is where love comes from. This is what transforms our relationships and our lives. We must love the self first. And we cannot do that until we have healed and become whole.

WHEN SILENCE BECOMES THE MEDIUM OF PROFUNDITY

Seers in the subcontinent have laid great emphasis on the concept of mauna as an ideal trigger for introspection and reflection.

Derived from the word muni that refers to an ascetic who practises silence, mauna ideally symbo-lises a state of oneness with the Self.

Sankara described this state as one of the three essential attributes of a sannyasi, along with balya or being child-like and panditya or wisdom.

Mauna is a state that’s beyond speech and thought, said Ramana Maharshi. It is when you live “without the ego-sense”.

He eventually made silence his medium of instruction .The ancients set aside an entire month in winter for such spiritual discipline to culminate with a day devoted to complete silence, the fifteenth day of the dark fortnight of Magha known as Mauni Amavasya.

Meditation undertaken on this day is believed to be extremely meritorious, especially at the confluence of the three rivers at Prayag or Allahabad. Sadhaks assemble at Prayag to practise rigorous month-long austerities known as kalpa-vas, which ends with the observance of Mauni Amavasya.

Mauni Amavasya is also a day, especially during the Kumbh mela, when a holy dip in the Ganga is considered auspicious and rewarding.

Yoga literature describes the three rivers — Ganga, Yamuna and (mythical) Saraswati — in metaphorical terms as the Sushmna, Ida and Pingala Nadis within the body which have to be brought into equipoise to enter the state of mauna or samadhi.

PLACE OTHER THAN HEAVEN

Beijing: Standing in the courtyard of the Temple of Heaven with the rain pouring down on my hastily acquired flimsy umbrella, the crowds of tourists viewed through sheets of water appeared to me like receding ghosts. On either side of the circular hall of prayer for good harvests – washed clean to reveal a brilliant blue – stood the hall of the Earthly Mount and the Imperial Vault of Heaven. Each of them stood on a square yard, the square representing Earth and the circle, Heaven.

Why did Shakespeare come to mind? “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/ than are dreamt of in your philosophy”. This was Hamlet’s response to his friend who expressed bewilderment over seeing his father’s ghost. The rain-drenched people one could see, mirage-like, were no ghosts. But all were here in the temple built and venerated by the Ming and Ching dynasties, admiring the thought and effort that went into creating the hallowed spaces heavy with symbolism and numerology.

Chinese wisdom spans a gamut of philosophies from I Ching, Confucius and Buddhism, to Neo and New Confucianism, Maoism and communist-style capitalism. But popular culture tends to take refuge in the more user friendly, simplistic fortune cookie generated “Confucius says…” pearls of wisdom. As they say, humour, like oxygen, can lift your spirits even in the most trying of circumstances specially when it is loaded with practical tips.

In Imperial China’s Temple of Heaven complex, the architectural design symbolises the connection between Heaven and Earth. The Temple of Heaven was a place for emperors to pray for good harvests. The emperor, “son of Heaven”, also prayed here for atonement of his people’s sins. The temple complex is encircled by two consecutive walls. The outer wall has a taller, semi-circular northern end, representing Heaven, and the shorter, rectangular southern end represents the Earth.

Incidentally, the numeral nine, so special in Indic culture – in navaratri, navagriha, navadaniya, navaratna, navarasa and so on – has a unique place in Chinese tradition, too. The Forbidden City, for instance, has exactly 9,999.5 rooms – deliberately falling short of the 10,000 rooms in the Jade Emperor’s Heavenly palace, stressing the need for humility and acceptance of human limitations. The number nine, the highest value single digit, also represents the emperor. The numeral is woven into the design of the Earthly Mount in the temple complex, a round plate surrounded by a ring of nine smaller plates, and another 18 plates and so on, amounting to nine rings with the outermost having 81 plates (9X9). The deep blue roof tiles that cover the temple buildings denote Heaven and the theme is the need for Earth to reach out to make that connection.

The rain having abated, we walked out of the Temple of Heaven towards the parking lot, and saw seven stones displayed on the grass, fenced off for security. We were informed that each of the seven stones – contrary to myth that they are meteorites – represents the seven peaks of the Taishan mountains, where traditional Heaven worship was offered in ancient times.
There was no sign here, however, of a Shangri-La or Shambala. But the hotel was yet a good one hour’s drive away, and there was ample time to take refuge in an imagination that offered generous glimpses of neither Heaven nor Earth but of what lay beyond…

CELEBRATE FORGIVENESS !!

Kshamavani Parva celebrates forgiveness as a way to a life of love, friendship, peace and harmony. When you forgive, you stop feeling resentful; there is no more indignation or anger against another for a perceived offence, difference or mistake; there is no clamour for punishment. It means the end of violence.

Jains classify forgiveness as: gifted by the one who forgives, earned by the one seeking it, and natural as a part of our divine nature. Forgiveness can be earned by request or prayer, pratikramana or confession and penitence, and prayascitta or willingness to suffer consequences.

Natural forgiveness, on the other hand, is automatic and effortless as it emanates from pure soul or paramatma, illustrating the dictum that to err is human, to forgive is divine.

Mahavira said we should forgive our own soul first. To forgive others is a practical application of this supreme forgiveness. It is the path of spiritual purification. Mahavira said: “The one whom you hurt or kill is you. All souls are equal and similar and have the same nature and qualities”. Ahimsa Paramo Dharma. Anger begets more anger and forgiveness and love beget more forgiveness and love. Forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and the forgiven.

Jain seers advise: “It is my bad karmas yielding results now even though i have not caused harm to him. So i must perform penance. I am the doer of my karmas and the enjoyer of their results”. It is the weak who give in to anger. The daily duties of all Jains include pratikramana and prayascitta. Every year, the month of Bhadra is considered holy and the last 18 days of the month are observed as either Paryusana or Das Laksan Parva.

On the last day, Kshamavani Divas, the resounding theme is: “Miccha me dukkadam” – “We ask forgiveness for any harm we may have caused you, by thought, word, or action, knowingly or unknowingly”; “Khamemi savve jiva” – “I grant forgiveness to all living beings”; “Savve jiva khamanatu me” – “May all living beings grant me forgiveness”; “Metti me savve bhuyesu” – “My friendship is with all living beings” and “Vairam majham na kenai” – “My enemy is totally non-existent”.

In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful emotions from causing havoc on one’s mental well-being: “In contemplating the law of karma, we realise that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practising metta or loving kindness, mudita, upekkha and karuna to avoid generating resentment, and then seek forgiveness. If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers”.

Jesus Christ, when being crucified prayed to God to forgive his tormentors as they “know not what they do”. The concept of confession and seeking absolution, and ending prayers by seeking forgiveness and the Lord’s blessings are applications of the principle of forgiveness.

In Islam, Allah is described as “the most forgiving”. Jews observe a Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the year. Mahatma Gandhi forgave his assassin even as he was dying. His practice of non-violence and satyagraha is based on the principle of forgiveness.

Those who forgive are happier and healthier than those who are resentful, say studies. Forgiveness is part of ahimsa; it helps us overcome anger and hatred

HEY RAM!!!

Hey Ram! With these last words, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi breathed his last. What would he have thought of the current controversy over the historicity or otherwise of Ram, the epic hero?

It would be interesting to ask: What is the historicity of the wind or cosmos? Behind visual reality, there exists something one can call supernature. Beyond history, there is the realm of metahistory.

How can man with his arrested sensibility, give expression to eternal life or eternity, in a language which is itself man-made? When we do not have a recorded or authentic history of language how shall we be able to understand the word ‘history’ used in language?

The word Ram means causing rest, charming, loving and delightful. Gandhi knew from the core of his heart that Ram is the hidden centre of all apparent reality. It is the unchanging reality, underlying a shifting reality. Ram is part of metahistory. Ram possesses highest power but never reveals himself as a possessor of power. People with inferior power exhibit their power in mindless activity and vanish like a bubble.

Much of Bapu’s philosophy was based on the substance of Indian thought. He did tend to believe in avatars or incarnations and believed in the saving power of the name ‘Ram’ in salvation through Lord Krishna. For Gandhi, the legend of Ram is so deeply embedded in the Indian way of life that it is difficult to think of India and Indian culture without any mention of his name.

The metahistory of Ram has inspired many poets and artists to depict his character with all its glory and transcendental splendour. After having understood the superficiality of so-called history Oswald Spengler had said in his book, The Decline of the West, that history should be the business of a poet.

The first such epic is the Ramayana, composed by Sanskrit poet Valmiki who is believed to be a contemporary of Ram. The whole of the Ramayana consists of 24,000 stanzas or 96,000 lines. It is a great work of art with many dramatic passages. Apart from the Ramayana other important epics of Sanskrit literature which characterise the life of Ram are Raghvansh by Kalidas and Uttar Ramcharit by Bhavbhuti. Ram gained immense popularity through the writings of Tulsidas, too, who depicted Ram’s character with such devotion and sincerity that Ram became the inseparable part of the collective unconscious of the people.

Abhinand, Kshemendra Jaidev, Pravassen, Kritivas Kambhan and at least 40 other poets have eulogised the greatness of the legendary Ram through their writings. So it is not difficult for any one of us to utter the name of Ram consciously or unconsciously as Gandhi did. Although Gandhi was acquainted with the basic tenets of all religions, he was deeply moved by Christ’s Sermon on the Mount. Gandhi’s passion for sustainable living and development was inspired by eternal and universal principles of faith in the oneness of religion and humanity.

Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolence, truth and simple living was derived from a belief in the power of the very same principles epitomised by Maryada Purushottam Ram – the ideal personality – immortalised in the legend’s story, the Ramayana, narrated in as many languages, forms and cultures as its plural versions.